I am getting this post in right under the deadline..it is 11:03 right now, but I am committed to doing this confession thing every Friday because it is good for my soul and stuff like that...
So here is my confession:
I hate answering the phone!
I'll even go days without checking messages, I leave it places, and its broke a lot.
I tell everyone about my busted a%# phone and how the # sign doesn't work ( which makes it difficult navigating those annoying automated services) and my space bar doesn't work ( which makes my texts look all jacked up) and many times my caller ID will not work or it just plain does not record a call. Your probably asking "Why the hell don't you get another phone?" 2 reasons...1) I'm lazy 2) I'm broke...simple as that.
So where am I going with all of this...you ask!!
I'm a liar! Well..not in all areas in my life..just one...MY PHONE.
I lie and tell people I didn't get their call
I lie and say my voicemail isn't working when it is
I lie and say "Huh?! I don't understand. I can get text, but it doesn't seem like people are getting mine."
I lie, I lie, I lie
Now it is true that my phone is nuthin' but problems but then I tend to use those problems to my advantage. So when my phone is actually working correctly, I lie and say that its not.
Please know that I love my family and friends!! Its just that they always call when I don't want to talk, so I say to myself "Oh, I will call them back" and then totally forget all about it, so when they ask me if I got their message ....I lie, fib,deceive.....whatevs...you get it
There is a window of opportunity for getting me on the phone and that is either on my way to work or on my way home. Talking on the phone passes the time while I drive...but outside of that window..forget about it. I talk to people all day long and the last thing I want to do when I get home is talk some more. The Duke knows and appreciates this but HATES when I don't answer the phone. You see after several days of my friends not getting a return phone call , they call the Duke to see if I am OK or dead or something to the like. Which how great of friends do I have??? Which is why I feel awful and really do have to start picking up the phone.
Anyways, not answering the phone got me into a huge mess this week.
I got a call from a collections agency..eek!!
They stated my dentist office is making a claim that I owe them 1,600 dollars. I knew this but it is my insurance company that is paying it. Well, obviously they hadn't!! So freaking out and not having and extra 1,600 dollars ( ya know because I am a good saver like that) I called the insurance company which told me that they will send out the check in 30 days, however, the bill collector stated that it might go on my credit report before the 30 days is up. So Super MOM to the rescue. I tell her my sob story about the evil insurance company and the wicked dentist office that never even called me!!! My mom assured me that she would pay it and that I can give her the money as soon as The Evil Insurance company sends me the check.
So she calls the Dentist office to pay. At this point I have to tell you that this is my hometown dentist in a small town where every body knows everybody ( I now live 2 1/2 hrs away)
The receptionist tells my mom that they would have NEVER have turned me into the Collections agency but I never called them back. They also proceeded to tell my lovely mother that they even had the phone company check my number to make sure it was mine and that she even made sure she had witnesses when she left a message ( because she wanted them to see her dial and hear her to make sure she was doing it right...whatever) Apparently they left a TON of messages.
As you can imagine I got a very angry phone call from my mom and she really called me to the carpet about my very rude and hurtful phone etiquette and that she KNOWS that I don't answer the phone, check messages...and on and on. Really the phone call went on soooo long that I don't have the strength to even recite a tenth of it.
In my defense....I truly do not believe that they called and left messages that many times. I KNOW I suck about the phone, but c'mon I think I would have received a couple of them and I am not stupid enough to ignore those messages!! But since I have a rep and I have lied so much...Karma came and bit me in the ass hard, like with teeth marks!!
So I now solemnly swear to answer my phone and at least check my messages every day AND return phone calls immediately.
Really I'm not lying!!
I think the phone is ringing...ahhhhhhhhh
THE LADY JANE ( reformed liar)