I'mmmm baaaccckkkk!!!!!!!!
I will tell ya more on my Florida vacay a little later because its Totally Awkward Tuesday time and I do have a little story from my recent trip for you all.
Picture this:
It was the plane ride back home, I had the window on my left and a girl on my right ( she was about my age, early twenties...okay, okay....thirties...sheesh) .
Plane ride started out OK, about 30 minutes into the flight I had to take one of my antibiotics. I reached down into my bag to get them and as I was bringing the bottle up ...butter finger strikes and I drop the bottle and it rolled back under my seat...ugh!
The next 5 minutes I spent trying to reach under my seat trying to grab the bottle. 5 minutes may not seem long but it was an eternity
Especially when you have to bend over and either grab through your wide spread legs or turn your knees to one side and bend over and try to reach under. (So then your butt could possibly be staring them in the face)
Then you grunt a little as your trying to make your arms be go-go-gadget like due to having impossibly short arms.
Its just not graceful or becoming at all and definitely awkward.
i apologized to my neighbor for being disruptive and she offered to help me, but in the end I got it and went back to reading my book.
I was super exhausted and was starting to doze as I read and as I started to sleep.... purring followed ( Duke likes to call it snoring, but purring is a lot cuter. Even though Duke says what I do is no where near sounding cute...whatevs! post for another day)
I was trying so hard to fight the good fight with my eyes to keep open, but every now and then I would jolt myself awake with a snort...yes a snort!! ugh...embarrassing
I got a pop in an attempt to help wake me up. I put the tray down to set my pop on and it also was great to lean my book on why i read.
So as I was reading when the sleep fairies came again .....and no matter how much I fought them, they won out and the purring/snoring began again...
and then a big ol'snort!! awkward...
the kind that wakes you right up!! I jolted up right so hard that my book hit the tray which then knocked over my pop right into the girls lap next to me!! She jumped...I dropped my book when I went to grab the pop ( no luck)...pop everywhere...oopsie!
Ugh...I kept apologizing...waved to the flight attendant to come help us...she did and brought lots of napkins. The girl said it was OK...but I am positive she was annoyed by this time.
After we got cleaned up I knew that I had to use the bathroom but there is no way I wanted to ask the 2 people sitting in my row to get up now...I have already been such a pain in the butt. It wasn't too bad and I thought I would be fine until the plane landed.
After a few minutes of just sitting there perfectly still and trying not to be annoying, I still wanted to read my book that was now laying on the floor. Even though I didn't want to awkwardly bend over to get something under my seat, the need to know what was happening with the Edward/Bella/Jacob triangle was too hard to resist.
So I bent over to get the book when I ripped a fart. Yep...I ripped one. a minor stinky one.
I could have D.I.E.D from embarrassment right there on the spot! The worst thing...its not like you can blame someone else or move ( run) away from the person . You just have to sit there and endure...
Klassy...right?!
If It wasn't awkward enough before it certainly was now!
I'm sure that girl had a story all about me when she got off that plane.
Happy Totally Awkward Tuesday! Go check out the rest of the awkward stories at Tova's place!!
The Lady Jane
Showing posts with label Driving myself crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Driving myself crazy. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
FLORIDA BOUND!
I'm on way to Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although your probably wondering why the hell I would head to Florida in the summer.
Crazy , I know. However, My BFF moved there last year (Orlando) and I miss her like crazy! I'm on summer break and its next to impossible to go during the school year and its cheaper.
So...Florida here I come!
I'm flying alone, which actually I like doing. I get to read a ton of meaningless magazines and read books that I have been coveting without having to make conversation with anyone else. Its nice to have that once in awhile.
Down side....
I'm me.
I get goofed up easily, I'm always late, I don't think things through, very forgetful, and I am tooooo laid back, etc.... all these things are not good when you are flying the friendly skies. Sometimes they are just not that friendly!
I do have some examples...Wanna hear them?
I'll make them short and sweet and to the point.
Example 1:
First time flying alone.
Destination: Washington DC for a friends wedding. I was a "reader" in the wedding so I needed to be there for the dress rehearsal.
My outfit still was not complete for the wedding, I still needed shoes. I thought I would stop at the mall before getting on the plane. Great idea....
Stopped at mall...shopping around and I ran into one of my friends.
friend: Hey I thought you were going to DC?
me: Oh I am. I just needed to get some shoes.
friend: What time is your flight?
me: 2pm
friend: WHAT? Your going to miss your flight!
me: No I won't, I have an hour.
friend: You have to check in your stuff still and go through security...you will never make it.
me: panicking!
I leave to go to the airport ( not before buying the shoes, of course!)
get into the car...no directions! I am so directionally challenged!
I call the airport...get directions. Proceeded to call back like 6 more times to see if the plane left.
For some reason in my head I was thinking I would just pull up to the airport, park, walk in and get on the plane.
Your probably wondering if I ever had been on a plane before...yep...several times.
My excuse...none. Sometimes..I just don't think.
Needless to say I missed my plane, which meant of course that I missed the rehearsal dinner and scared everybody as to my whereabouts.
Oh...I had also left my plane tickets at home...yeah I am that awesome!
Example #2
Destination: San Francisco to visit a friend
Brought an expired license instead of my current one. Why you may ask.... I couldn't find my current one and thought an expired one would work fine. Its not like I would be driving a car or anything. I had left packing until the last minute and didn't have time to look for my license...I needed to be there early ( I didn't want to miss my plane like last time. See...I do learn small lessons)
Fast forward...me trying to check in.
The guy wouldn't let me check in because my license was expired.
Big situation broke out...I went to another airline employee. That person thought I should be let on the plane. In his words "She isn't going to be flying the plane"
Argument broke out between the two about it...third person was called in...I was let on the plane. Had to run all they way there while the plane waited for me.
Want to know the funny thing....this was on my trip home. They obviously let me fly there on my expired license. Hmmph...
Example 3:
Destination: Key West - maid of honor in a wedding
Alarm did not go off in the morning ( thank goodness I am an early riser anyways)
freaked out...threw everything that wasn't packed yet into my carry on.
I'm sure you can guess what happened.
I totally forgot that everything in my carry on that is liquid like could not be bigger than 3.4 oz. Tears are starting to well up at thought of this.
I got to the security check and that is when I encountered the bitch from hell. This cold- hearted woman informs me that I broke all sorts of codes and proceeded to throw away all of my hair products, etc... right in front of me. I thought I was going to be sick! These products were not cheap...I spent money on them!
Hairspray...gone
Shampoo....gone
Conditioner...gone
gel...gone
hair powder...gone
body lotion...gone
body scrub....gone
detangler...gone
toothpaste...gone
and let me tell ya she reveled in throwing this stuff away. She picked each one up, admired it, commented on what the cost of it was, then dropped it in the trash. She did this with every single thing. With everyone that was in line for security watching. It was painful....
and the most embarrassing moment... was when she picked up one of the items that I bought for my friends bachelorette party. This...
Dick Tasty
Crazy , I know. However, My BFF moved there last year (Orlando) and I miss her like crazy! I'm on summer break and its next to impossible to go during the school year and its cheaper.
So...Florida here I come!
I'm flying alone, which actually I like doing. I get to read a ton of meaningless magazines and read books that I have been coveting without having to make conversation with anyone else. Its nice to have that once in awhile.
Down side....
I'm me.
I get goofed up easily, I'm always late, I don't think things through, very forgetful, and I am tooooo laid back, etc.... all these things are not good when you are flying the friendly skies. Sometimes they are just not that friendly!
I do have some examples...Wanna hear them?
I'll make them short and sweet and to the point.
Example 1:
First time flying alone.
Destination: Washington DC for a friends wedding. I was a "reader" in the wedding so I needed to be there for the dress rehearsal.
My outfit still was not complete for the wedding, I still needed shoes. I thought I would stop at the mall before getting on the plane. Great idea....
Stopped at mall...shopping around and I ran into one of my friends.
friend: Hey I thought you were going to DC?
me: Oh I am. I just needed to get some shoes.
friend: What time is your flight?
me: 2pm
friend: WHAT? Your going to miss your flight!
me: No I won't, I have an hour.
friend: You have to check in your stuff still and go through security...you will never make it.
me: panicking!
I leave to go to the airport ( not before buying the shoes, of course!)
get into the car...no directions! I am so directionally challenged!
I call the airport...get directions. Proceeded to call back like 6 more times to see if the plane left.
For some reason in my head I was thinking I would just pull up to the airport, park, walk in and get on the plane.
Your probably wondering if I ever had been on a plane before...yep...several times.
My excuse...none. Sometimes..I just don't think.
Needless to say I missed my plane, which meant of course that I missed the rehearsal dinner and scared everybody as to my whereabouts.
Oh...I had also left my plane tickets at home...yeah I am that awesome!
Example #2
Destination: San Francisco to visit a friend
Brought an expired license instead of my current one. Why you may ask.... I couldn't find my current one and thought an expired one would work fine. Its not like I would be driving a car or anything. I had left packing until the last minute and didn't have time to look for my license...I needed to be there early ( I didn't want to miss my plane like last time. See...I do learn small lessons)
Fast forward...me trying to check in.
The guy wouldn't let me check in because my license was expired.
Big situation broke out...I went to another airline employee. That person thought I should be let on the plane. In his words "She isn't going to be flying the plane"
Argument broke out between the two about it...third person was called in...I was let on the plane. Had to run all they way there while the plane waited for me.
Want to know the funny thing....this was on my trip home. They obviously let me fly there on my expired license. Hmmph...
Example 3:
Destination: Key West - maid of honor in a wedding
Alarm did not go off in the morning ( thank goodness I am an early riser anyways)
freaked out...threw everything that wasn't packed yet into my carry on.
I'm sure you can guess what happened.
I totally forgot that everything in my carry on that is liquid like could not be bigger than 3.4 oz. Tears are starting to well up at thought of this.
I got to the security check and that is when I encountered the bitch from hell. This cold- hearted woman informs me that I broke all sorts of codes and proceeded to throw away all of my hair products, etc... right in front of me. I thought I was going to be sick! These products were not cheap...I spent money on them!
Hairspray...gone
Shampoo....gone
Conditioner...gone
gel...gone
hair powder...gone
body lotion...gone
body scrub....gone
detangler...gone
toothpaste...gone
and let me tell ya she reveled in throwing this stuff away. She picked each one up, admired it, commented on what the cost of it was, then dropped it in the trash. She did this with every single thing. With everyone that was in line for security watching. It was painful....
and the most embarrassing moment... was when she picked up one of the items that I bought for my friends bachelorette party. This...
Dick Tasty
So here's to hoping that this little trip is uneventful!!!
XOXO
THE LADY JANE
XOXO
THE LADY JANE
Monday, June 15, 2009
Drinking and walking do not mix
WARNING***WARNING*****WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING
If you do not like the sight of blood do not go any further....there are pictures attached that may make you vomit...just sayin'
If you do decide to keep reading and do vomit...don't say I didn't warn you.
Ok...
Long story short...I got completely bombed on Saturday night at my friends party.
Yep...completely bombed
( which by he way it was a GREAT party! Food, drinks, and a DJ...what more could ya want?)
Anyways I was very drunk and it was 3 in the morning when the Duke and I decided to go home ( well to my parents house - we were about 3 hours from our actual house)
and as we were walking out the garage door I was simultaneously turning around to say some witty comment upon my exit when I hit the cement step and fell. I landed with a thud, sat stunned...and then started laughing uncontrollably!! I couldn't stop.
I do this whenever I fall or I see someone else fall. To me it is the most hilarious thing ever and No it does not matter if they are really hurt or not. Awful, I know.
I guess nobody really saw me fall except the Duke. He made sure I was OK and then we both laughed all the way to the car..which was actually quite a ways. When we got in, I bent down to see my leg because I was pretty sure I had a nasty bruise. However, when I touched it..it was wet and gooey!
I turned to the Duke and held up my hand and said "Is this blood?"
Duke freaked out because when he turned on the light in the car..there was lots of blood..lots.
He pulled the car up to the house and ran to get some bandages, towels, whatever...
Everyone then came running out the house and they totally freaked on me!
Saying things like
"OMG..its like a piece of meat is hanging off!"
"we need bandages..STAT"
"i'm gonna faint"
and
As for me I was still laughing.... I felt like it was all I could do.
They did bandage me up..see pic below..and off to the hospital I went.
**amazing, the things you can do with Duct tape**
Yes..my foot is swollen...I do not have cankles.
The Duke did make a pit stop at my parent's house to pick them up so they could actually drive us there..because the Duke had a lot to drink too and they are luck was going we didn't want to chance it.
Its always nice to surprise your parents with a trip to the ER at 3:30 in the morning!
I wish I could say that was first time...but that's for another post.
Are you ready for the pics??? Remember I did warn you!
I am going to rock the mini skirt this summer..fo sho
For some reason ( read..pain meds) I was making the Duke and my mom give two thumbs up. I made them do this pose like 5 times. Why...who knows?
At 6:30 am I was finally let go and all they did was put a bandage on. I guess they couldn't "salvage" my skin..so they referred me to a wound clinic. Seriously??
I went to the "wound clinic" today. Apparently they have to leave the wound open and let the skin die off. DIE OFF??!!
I have a huge ass dressing that I have to change twice a day, a ruined pair of jeans, blood soaked shoes..that I am pretty sure a ruined too , blood in my new Escape, and I can't swim all summer.
Oh yeah...I am totally bruised up to my thigh and I have a Hematoma on the other leg too.
Yay for my first day of summer break!!
Moral of the story: Don't try to be funny, just look where you are walking.
THE LADY JANE
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I have no idea what to title this??!!
I think this is going to be one of those posts that is going to be random...I'm thinking bullet point. It might be easier for you all to follow my ramblings. Just an FYI..its not going to be witty either because....
- I'm dyin......of PAIN!! Ok, this is how I know I am seriously out of shape ( I knew I was but this even surprised me) I am in some serious, drug needing, pain from Tai Chi!!
A person doing tai chi moves his body slowly and gently, while breathing deeply and meditating (tai chi is sometimes called "moving meditation")
I know it is also considered a "combat style" but the above description is what I am doing!
How embarrassing! I am going to hide my face from the world ( probably under a blanket and on top of a heating pad....just sayin'. ) So as if wasn't feeling bad enough I took a break from this post to go read some other blogs and that's when I read this by my lovely bloggy friend Gina! Talk about just rubbing my face right in the doo - doo. I know, i know this post didn't actually exist when she wrote it but my face still feels like it has doo - doo on it!
I need to keep moving on...because I don't know how much typing my poor arms can take. Seriously...
I know it is also considered a "combat style" but the above description is what I am doing!
How embarrassing! I am going to hide my face from the world ( probably under a blanket and on top of a heating pad....just sayin'. ) So as if wasn't feeling bad enough I took a break from this post to go read some other blogs and that's when I read this by my lovely bloggy friend Gina! Talk about just rubbing my face right in the doo - doo. I know, i know this post didn't actually exist when she wrote it but my face still feels like it has doo - doo on it!
I need to keep moving on...because I don't know how much typing my poor arms can take. Seriously...
- Update on my Rite Aid Sucks post - If you haven't looked in the comments section lately (c'mon I know you all can't get enough of me and you read the comment section when I have not posted...just admit it. Trust me you feel better) But just in case you are one of the rare few who do not do this.... This is the comment
Hi "Lady Jane,"
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. This is not a policy, and I'd like to investigate. Would you please call me and share where and when this occurred so that I may pursue.
Thanks in advance for your time,
Eric Harkreader
Rite Aid Public Relations
(717) 975-5713
I'm totally going to call him...but I only remember on the weekend when Eric isn't working. **lightbulb** I will put a reminder in my lovely i-phone. So I guess this kind of sucks an update when I haven't actually called him yet...consider it part 2 on my revenge on Rite-Aid.
THE LADY JANE
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. This is not a policy, and I'd like to investigate. Would you please call me and share where and when this occurred so that I may pursue.
Thanks in advance for your time,
Eric Harkreader
Rite Aid Public Relations
(717) 975-5713
I'm totally going to call him...but I only remember on the weekend when Eric isn't working. **lightbulb** I will put a reminder in my lovely i-phone. So I guess this kind of sucks an update when I haven't actually called him yet...consider it part 2 on my revenge on Rite-Aid.
- Update on EMO kid ( you can read up on him here and here) .....he was locked up for like 3 weeks and he returned Friday...ugh. He shaved off all his hair and he wore NO makeup . He made this big apology, I think its the honey moon period..but I am trying to stay positive. he will not kill me, he will not kill me
- I do have an update on the "people who want my money so they invited us to their wedding even though we have never met them". I conducted a full investigation and here are the results....its a cousin of the Duke's. He has NEVER met them and is not in contact with the groom to be's immediate family. Uh..Weird!! I guess I would save my guest list for people we actually know and have had at least one conversation with...just sayin"
- Only 17 more school days until I am FREE!!!! For a whole 2 1/2 months!!! I would start dancing...but ya know...I'm in pain
THE LADY JANE
Monday, May 4, 2009
You suck Rite Aid!!
Dear Rite- Aid Pharmacy:
I have a bone to pick with you. I want to know who came up with the stupid idea of putting the customers money/credit card/debit card IN the prescription bag with the bottle of pills.
Really?!
You put the money/card in there and then shove a bunch of useless pamphlet information in there and the staple it all shut. WHY??? The card gets lost in all the pamphlets and well it shouldn't be in there anyways! It takes more effort to put it in the effin' bag then it does just to give it back to me!!
Why can't you to send the bag and the money/card through the drive through slot separately??
You see...I was very inconvenienced this morning when I went to the gas station on my way to work to grab one of their energy infused coffees....(I really needed that shockwave of coffee!) and then when it was time to pay, I couldn't find my debit card. ANYWHERE!! I spent so much time looking for it that I ended up being late to work and without having any of my shock wave coffee!! This was not good!
It was only after I gave up looking did it dawn on me that it was probably in the prescription bag. You see..you corporate monger..you have tricked me before with this sly move and I have thrown away precious cash!
I'm wondering if it is just you and maybe not all your other branches do it. I know one of you has a crush on the Duke.... are you doing this to mess with me???
Well, you didn't get me this time!! I hurried up and called the Duke and made him go out to the trash on the side of the road ( yes, it was trash day!) and search through the trash for that prescription bag that held my beloved debit card. So the joke's on you Rite Aid !!!! I got it and
I 'm not going to fall for your Shenanigans again. And the Duke's mad at you too now ...so watch out!
The Lady Jane ( who loved the idea of open letters that many bloggers do....oh, no is this plagiarizing??? gah.....I hope not...i don't want to be the latest sensation on the internet!!)
I have a bone to pick with you. I want to know who came up with the stupid idea of putting the customers money/credit card/debit card IN the prescription bag with the bottle of pills.
Really?!
You put the money/card in there and then shove a bunch of useless pamphlet information in there and the staple it all shut. WHY??? The card gets lost in all the pamphlets and well it shouldn't be in there anyways! It takes more effort to put it in the effin' bag then it does just to give it back to me!!
Why can't you to send the bag and the money/card through the drive through slot separately??
You see...I was very inconvenienced this morning when I went to the gas station on my way to work to grab one of their energy infused coffees....(I really needed that shockwave of coffee!) and then when it was time to pay, I couldn't find my debit card. ANYWHERE!! I spent so much time looking for it that I ended up being late to work and without having any of my shock wave coffee!! This was not good!
It was only after I gave up looking did it dawn on me that it was probably in the prescription bag. You see..you corporate monger..you have tricked me before with this sly move and I have thrown away precious cash!
I'm wondering if it is just you and maybe not all your other branches do it. I know one of you has a crush on the Duke.... are you doing this to mess with me???
Well, you didn't get me this time!! I hurried up and called the Duke and made him go out to the trash on the side of the road ( yes, it was trash day!) and search through the trash for that prescription bag that held my beloved debit card. So the joke's on you Rite Aid !!!! I got it and
I 'm not going to fall for your Shenanigans again. And the Duke's mad at you too now ...so watch out!
The Lady Jane ( who loved the idea of open letters that many bloggers do....oh, no is this plagiarizing??? gah.....I hope not...i don't want to be the latest sensation on the internet!!)
Friday, May 1, 2009
Confession Friday: Keys are my Nemesis!!!
Just like the title states:
Keys are my Nemesis!!
I have soooo many key related stories and NONE of them are good. Everybody who knows me...KNOWS that I should not be entrusted with any kind of key for any reason, any time!! Seriously!
So here is Lady Jane's 2,890,560 entry into the lost, misplaced. damaged, broke, etc... KEY CHRONICLES
And this is my Confession: I totally threw my co-worker under the bus, or rather I just let the bus keep running over her...
I know, I know...I feel awful!!!!!!
Here's the story....
In the program that I am based out of there is the teacher, me (social worker) and two para pros. The teacher and I have keys to the doors and filing cabinets. There is also an extra set in a drawer in the teacher's desk..in case one of the Para's need one.
Some time last week I needed to open up a filing cabinet and instead of walking to my desk in the other room ( because I am that lazy) I used the extra set in the desk and true to form..I pocketed it afterwards without thinking.
Cut to Wednesday of this week:
I come into the classroom after being away in the morning for meetings and hear this loud DRILLING....the maintenance guy is there drilling the lock of the filing cabinet. Huh? I saw the teacher and raised my eyebrows..like whats going on here? She comes over very briskly and kind of dramatic like and proceeds to tell me that the keys are missing from her desk and that she knows that one of the para's lost it even though she is saying she didn't.
At first I was just nodding my head as she spoke and not say anything as that is what I usually do when she is venting because honestly she talks louder then she should when she is talking about the paras and to say that it is awkward is an understatement!! So I am nodding and trying to hurry through the venting so I can get away..when all of a sudden I have this flash of memory of ME putting those keys in my pocket! Oh gawd....I did it again! Damn keys...I hate keys with a passion. We just do not have a good relationship..they do not like me either! They are the bane of my existence!! ( I am not being dramatic..they really are! For real!)
A struggle with my conscious ensues... should I admit that it was me that took them or let the teacher believe the para did it....
I chose the latter. Not proud..not proud at all!
I have to but a disclaimer on this***
If the maintenance guy wasn't already drilling a hole into the filing cabinet at that minute...I totally would have fessed up...really I would have! BUT since it had already progressed that far and no one even thought to ask me if I had the keys before calling the maintenance guy then well....I just let them keep thinking that it couldn't possibly have been me. Hey I can hear you judging.. but its my first year there...I have already misplaced the credit card.... ( which they still don't know yet as I am positive that it will show up ..God, do you hear me??)...I can't possibly be responsible for this too!
I know Karma is going to get me on this one... it always does!
Damn Keys!!! **shakes fist**
I'm emotionally drained now..... good night:(
The Lady Jane ( and very bad co-worker...)
Keys are my Nemesis!!
I have soooo many key related stories and NONE of them are good. Everybody who knows me...KNOWS that I should not be entrusted with any kind of key for any reason, any time!! Seriously!
So here is Lady Jane's 2,890,560 entry into the lost, misplaced. damaged, broke, etc... KEY CHRONICLES
And this is my Confession: I totally threw my co-worker under the bus, or rather I just let the bus keep running over her...
I know, I know...I feel awful!!!!!!
Here's the story....
In the program that I am based out of there is the teacher, me (social worker) and two para pros. The teacher and I have keys to the doors and filing cabinets. There is also an extra set in a drawer in the teacher's desk..in case one of the Para's need one.
Some time last week I needed to open up a filing cabinet and instead of walking to my desk in the other room ( because I am that lazy) I used the extra set in the desk and true to form..I pocketed it afterwards without thinking.
Cut to Wednesday of this week:
I come into the classroom after being away in the morning for meetings and hear this loud DRILLING....the maintenance guy is there drilling the lock of the filing cabinet. Huh? I saw the teacher and raised my eyebrows..like whats going on here? She comes over very briskly and kind of dramatic like and proceeds to tell me that the keys are missing from her desk and that she knows that one of the para's lost it even though she is saying she didn't.
At first I was just nodding my head as she spoke and not say anything as that is what I usually do when she is venting because honestly she talks louder then she should when she is talking about the paras and to say that it is awkward is an understatement!! So I am nodding and trying to hurry through the venting so I can get away..when all of a sudden I have this flash of memory of ME putting those keys in my pocket! Oh gawd....I did it again! Damn keys...I hate keys with a passion. We just do not have a good relationship..they do not like me either! They are the bane of my existence!! ( I am not being dramatic..they really are! For real!)
A struggle with my conscious ensues... should I admit that it was me that took them or let the teacher believe the para did it....
I chose the latter. Not proud..not proud at all!
I have to but a disclaimer on this***
If the maintenance guy wasn't already drilling a hole into the filing cabinet at that minute...I totally would have fessed up...really I would have! BUT since it had already progressed that far and no one even thought to ask me if I had the keys before calling the maintenance guy then well....I just let them keep thinking that it couldn't possibly have been me. Hey I can hear you judging.. but its my first year there...I have already misplaced the credit card.... ( which they still don't know yet as I am positive that it will show up ..God, do you hear me??)...I can't possibly be responsible for this too!
I know Karma is going to get me on this one... it always does!
Damn Keys!!! **shakes fist**
I'm emotionally drained now..... good night:(
The Lady Jane ( and very bad co-worker...)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Confession Friday...vol.3
I am getting this post in right under the deadline..it is 11:03 right now, but I am committed to doing this confession thing every Friday because it is good for my soul and stuff like that...
So here is my confession:
I hate answering the phone!
I'll even go days without checking messages, I leave it places, and its broke a lot.
I tell everyone about my busted a%# phone and how the # sign doesn't work ( which makes it difficult navigating those annoying automated services) and my space bar doesn't work ( which makes my texts look all jacked up) and many times my caller ID will not work or it just plain does not record a call. Your probably asking "Why the hell don't you get another phone?" 2 reasons...1) I'm lazy 2) I'm broke...simple as that.
So where am I going with all of this...you ask!!
I'm a liar! Well..not in all areas in my life..just one...MY PHONE.
I lie and tell people I didn't get their call
I lie and say my voicemail isn't working when it is
I lie and say "Huh?! I don't understand. I can get text, but it doesn't seem like people are getting mine."
I lie, I lie, I lie
Now it is true that my phone is nuthin' but problems but then I tend to use those problems to my advantage. So when my phone is actually working correctly, I lie and say that its not.
Please know that I love my family and friends!! Its just that they always call when I don't want to talk, so I say to myself "Oh, I will call them back" and then totally forget all about it, so when they ask me if I got their message ....I lie, fib,deceive.....whatevs...you get it
There is a window of opportunity for getting me on the phone and that is either on my way to work or on my way home. Talking on the phone passes the time while I drive...but outside of that window..forget about it. I talk to people all day long and the last thing I want to do when I get home is talk some more. The Duke knows and appreciates this but HATES when I don't answer the phone. You see after several days of my friends not getting a return phone call , they call the Duke to see if I am OK or dead or something to the like. Which how great of friends do I have??? Which is why I feel awful and really do have to start picking up the phone.
Anyways, not answering the phone got me into a huge mess this week.
I got a call from a collections agency..eek!!
They stated my dentist office is making a claim that I owe them 1,600 dollars. I knew this but it is my insurance company that is paying it. Well, obviously they hadn't!! So freaking out and not having and extra 1,600 dollars ( ya know because I am a good saver like that) I called the insurance company which told me that they will send out the check in 30 days, however, the bill collector stated that it might go on my credit report before the 30 days is up. So Super MOM to the rescue. I tell her my sob story about the evil insurance company and the wicked dentist office that never even called me!!! My mom assured me that she would pay it and that I can give her the money as soon as The Evil Insurance company sends me the check.
So she calls the Dentist office to pay. At this point I have to tell you that this is my hometown dentist in a small town where every body knows everybody ( I now live 2 1/2 hrs away)
The receptionist tells my mom that they would have NEVER have turned me into the Collections agency but I never called them back. They also proceeded to tell my lovely mother that they even had the phone company check my number to make sure it was mine and that she even made sure she had witnesses when she left a message ( because she wanted them to see her dial and hear her to make sure she was doing it right...whatever) Apparently they left a TON of messages.
As you can imagine I got a very angry phone call from my mom and she really called me to the carpet about my very rude and hurtful phone etiquette and that she KNOWS that I don't answer the phone, check messages...and on and on. Really the phone call went on soooo long that I don't have the strength to even recite a tenth of it.
In my defense....I truly do not believe that they called and left messages that many times. I KNOW I suck about the phone, but c'mon I think I would have received a couple of them and I am not stupid enough to ignore those messages!! But since I have a rep and I have lied so much...Karma came and bit me in the ass hard, like with teeth marks!!
So I now solemnly swear to answer my phone and at least check my messages every day AND return phone calls immediately.
Really I'm not lying!!
I think the phone is ringing...ahhhhhhhhh
THE LADY JANE ( reformed liar)
So here is my confession:
I hate answering the phone!
I'll even go days without checking messages, I leave it places, and its broke a lot.
I tell everyone about my busted a%# phone and how the # sign doesn't work ( which makes it difficult navigating those annoying automated services) and my space bar doesn't work ( which makes my texts look all jacked up) and many times my caller ID will not work or it just plain does not record a call. Your probably asking "Why the hell don't you get another phone?" 2 reasons...1) I'm lazy 2) I'm broke...simple as that.
So where am I going with all of this...you ask!!
I'm a liar! Well..not in all areas in my life..just one...MY PHONE.
I lie and tell people I didn't get their call
I lie and say my voicemail isn't working when it is
I lie and say "Huh?! I don't understand. I can get text, but it doesn't seem like people are getting mine."
I lie, I lie, I lie
Now it is true that my phone is nuthin' but problems but then I tend to use those problems to my advantage. So when my phone is actually working correctly, I lie and say that its not.
Please know that I love my family and friends!! Its just that they always call when I don't want to talk, so I say to myself "Oh, I will call them back" and then totally forget all about it, so when they ask me if I got their message ....I lie, fib,deceive.....whatevs...you get it
There is a window of opportunity for getting me on the phone and that is either on my way to work or on my way home. Talking on the phone passes the time while I drive...but outside of that window..forget about it. I talk to people all day long and the last thing I want to do when I get home is talk some more. The Duke knows and appreciates this but HATES when I don't answer the phone. You see after several days of my friends not getting a return phone call , they call the Duke to see if I am OK or dead or something to the like. Which how great of friends do I have??? Which is why I feel awful and really do have to start picking up the phone.
Anyways, not answering the phone got me into a huge mess this week.
I got a call from a collections agency..eek!!
They stated my dentist office is making a claim that I owe them 1,600 dollars. I knew this but it is my insurance company that is paying it. Well, obviously they hadn't!! So freaking out and not having and extra 1,600 dollars ( ya know because I am a good saver like that) I called the insurance company which told me that they will send out the check in 30 days, however, the bill collector stated that it might go on my credit report before the 30 days is up. So Super MOM to the rescue. I tell her my sob story about the evil insurance company and the wicked dentist office that never even called me!!! My mom assured me that she would pay it and that I can give her the money as soon as The Evil Insurance company sends me the check.
So she calls the Dentist office to pay. At this point I have to tell you that this is my hometown dentist in a small town where every body knows everybody ( I now live 2 1/2 hrs away)
The receptionist tells my mom that they would have NEVER have turned me into the Collections agency but I never called them back. They also proceeded to tell my lovely mother that they even had the phone company check my number to make sure it was mine and that she even made sure she had witnesses when she left a message ( because she wanted them to see her dial and hear her to make sure she was doing it right...whatever) Apparently they left a TON of messages.
As you can imagine I got a very angry phone call from my mom and she really called me to the carpet about my very rude and hurtful phone etiquette and that she KNOWS that I don't answer the phone, check messages...and on and on. Really the phone call went on soooo long that I don't have the strength to even recite a tenth of it.
In my defense....I truly do not believe that they called and left messages that many times. I KNOW I suck about the phone, but c'mon I think I would have received a couple of them and I am not stupid enough to ignore those messages!! But since I have a rep and I have lied so much...Karma came and bit me in the ass hard, like with teeth marks!!
So I now solemnly swear to answer my phone and at least check my messages every day AND return phone calls immediately.
Really I'm not lying!!
I think the phone is ringing...ahhhhhhhhh
THE LADY JANE ( reformed liar)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I call SABOTAGE!!!!
Sorry!!
It has been "hell" week at work...well actually it has been "hell" month..but really bad this week. Of course it probably wouldn't have had to be as bad as it was if I wasn't such an incredible procrastinator. I feel like I have made it into an art form. You know the old saying
" Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today"..or some crazy shit like that. Well let me tell ya those are not words I live by. I wish it was but at this late stage in my life...those things likely aren't going to change...but I am gonna try anyways:)
Which brings me to my real reason for posting. I have a confession..yes another one. I am a sabotager...of myself. I am driving myself crazy! I know exactly what my problem is, yet I do nothing about it. Oh wait..yes I do. I make it WORSE!
Want to lose weight. I make a detailed plan of action including a grocery list for my oh so yummy low calorie recipes and then I order the two large pizza for one deal...within the hour.
Make a list of things I need to do for work and give each task a due date ( like tomorrow) and then I read blogs for two hours and surf the net.
I make a pledge to re-quit smoking ( I started up again) and have great convo with boyfriend about my "really never wanting to smoke..bad for health, blah, blah" Sneak out of the house under the statement " I need to get something for my lunch the next day" and go buy a pack! Again within the hour!
Ahhhh.... I am telling you this list could go on and on and on... no lie.
Where is my will power...dammit! I mean its one thing to try and then fall off the wagon but I don't even get on the wagon! I need help! Serious help. and I call myself a counselor! HA HA HA
So I have joined Operation Muffin(topple) with Catherinette at the Catherinette Chronicles. I need to get rid of this extra baggage that I put on post-surgery. I need some accountability! I will be giving you updates...
BTW..I snuck out and smoked a ciggie during this post! AAhhhhh....
Will Somebody please kick my ass! Please! Real hard!!!
The Lady Jane
It has been "hell" week at work...well actually it has been "hell" month..but really bad this week. Of course it probably wouldn't have had to be as bad as it was if I wasn't such an incredible procrastinator. I feel like I have made it into an art form. You know the old saying
" Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today"..or some crazy shit like that. Well let me tell ya those are not words I live by. I wish it was but at this late stage in my life...those things likely aren't going to change...but I am gonna try anyways:)
Which brings me to my real reason for posting. I have a confession..yes another one. I am a sabotager...of myself. I am driving myself crazy! I know exactly what my problem is, yet I do nothing about it. Oh wait..yes I do. I make it WORSE!
Want to lose weight. I make a detailed plan of action including a grocery list for my oh so yummy low calorie recipes and then I order the two large pizza for one deal...within the hour.
Make a list of things I need to do for work and give each task a due date ( like tomorrow) and then I read blogs for two hours and surf the net.
I make a pledge to re-quit smoking ( I started up again) and have great convo with boyfriend about my "really never wanting to smoke..bad for health, blah, blah" Sneak out of the house under the statement " I need to get something for my lunch the next day" and go buy a pack! Again within the hour!
Ahhhh.... I am telling you this list could go on and on and on... no lie.
Where is my will power...dammit! I mean its one thing to try and then fall off the wagon but I don't even get on the wagon! I need help! Serious help. and I call myself a counselor! HA HA HA
So I have joined Operation Muffin(topple) with Catherinette at the Catherinette Chronicles. I need to get rid of this extra baggage that I put on post-surgery. I need some accountability! I will be giving you updates...
BTW..I snuck out and smoked a ciggie during this post! AAhhhhh....
Will Somebody please kick my ass! Please! Real hard!!!
The Lady Jane
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