Monday, June 15, 2009

Drinking and walking do not mix


If you do not like the sight of blood do not go any further....there are pictures attached that may make you vomit...just sayin'

If you do decide to keep reading and do vomit...don't say I didn't warn you.


Long story short...I got completely bombed on Saturday night at my friends party.

Yep...completely bombed

( which by he way it was a GREAT party! Food, drinks, and a DJ...what more could ya want?)

Anyways I was very drunk and it was 3 in the morning when the Duke and I decided to go home ( well to my parents house - we were about 3 hours from our actual house)

and as we were walking out the garage door I was simultaneously turning around to say some witty comment upon my exit when I hit the cement step and fell. I landed with a thud, sat stunned...and then started laughing uncontrollably!! I couldn't stop.

I do this whenever I fall or I see someone else fall. To me it is the most hilarious thing ever and No it does not matter if they are really hurt or not. Awful, I know.

I guess nobody really saw me fall except the Duke. He made sure I was OK and then we both laughed all the way to the car..which was actually quite a ways. When we got in, I bent down to see my leg because I was pretty sure I had a nasty bruise. However, when I touched was wet and gooey!

I turned to the Duke and held up my hand and said "Is this blood?"

Duke freaked out because when he turned on the light in the car..there was lots of blood..lots.
He pulled the car up to the house and ran to get some bandages, towels, whatever...

Everyone then came running out the house and they totally freaked on me!

Saying things like

"OMG..its like a piece of meat is hanging off!"

"we need bandages..STAT"

"i'm gonna faint"


As for me I was still laughing.... I felt like it was all I could do.

They did bandage me up..see pic below..and off to the hospital I went.

**amazing, the things you can do with Duct tape** foot is swollen...I do not have cankles.

The Duke did make a pit stop at my parent's house to pick them up so they could actually drive us there..because the Duke had a lot to drink too and they are luck was going we didn't want to chance it.

Its always nice to surprise your parents with a trip to the ER at 3:30 in the morning!
I wish I could say that was first time...but that's for another post.

Are you ready for the pics??? Remember I did warn you!

I am going to rock the mini skirt this sho

For some reason ( read..pain meds) I was making the Duke and my mom give two thumbs up. I made them do this pose like 5 times. Why...who knows?

At 6:30 am I was finally let go and all they did was put a bandage on. I guess they couldn't "salvage" my they referred me to a wound clinic. Seriously??

I went to the "wound clinic" today. Apparently they have to leave the wound open and let the skin die off. DIE OFF??!!

I have a huge ass dressing that I have to change twice a day, a ruined pair of jeans, blood soaked shoes..that I am pretty sure a ruined too , blood in my new Escape, and I can't swim all summer.

Oh yeah...I am totally bruised up to my thigh and I have a Hematoma on the other leg too.

Yay for my first day of summer break!!

Moral of the story: Don't try to be funny, just look where you are walking.



  1. OH. MY. GOD.

    That is awful... and I made my fiance look at the pictures too haha. You poor thing!!! Hope you're not hurting too bad!

  2. that is sick! which part of your leg was cut? i can't tell. but it's gross! i'm glad you're ok though!

  3. I just thought, aw shucks, I'll look, how bad can it be? That's the last time I'm doing that. Good JESUS, that is NASTY. It's like a shark took a bite out of you. Urgh. Gross! Sending sympathetic vibes your way (when I stop gagging)

    Did I just say "Aw shucks?"

  4. Holy crap! I don't know what else to say. Mend quickly!

  5. OH MY GOSH! No offense, but I totally laughed at you. Falls just do that... you understand. But seriously, wow. Is that a towel duct-taped to your leg?

  6. Okay, I want a diagram of HOW you feel or what you fell on to do that to yourself! Sheesh! And what's with all the swelling did you sprain/break something on your way down? Sending fast healing vibes your way. OLM!

  7. oh my god. I feel like vomitting now. Poor you!

  8. good lord! If it makes you feel any better david once got drunk walked off the end of a dock and cut the crap out of his legs on barrnacles...and laughed about it till he passed out! lol

    hope it heals soon!

  9. WHAT?! Holy COW! lol I did not expect this graphic a wound! All from falling over?!

    Get a ton of rest and I hope you heal up quick!

  10. My first post...but I think "tripping through life" is so appropiate! You did a number on yourself....I hope you heal quickly and I'll be thinking of you!

  11. OMG! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! I had to make my boyfriend come into the room and see the pictures. I hope you heal quickly and the skin 'dies off' soon.

    Did I mention...SWEET BABY JESUS!

  12. WTH!! I can't believe you were laughing when you fell! I would've been crying my eyes out. HOLY COW that looks like it hurts so bad! ack!!

    hope your leg feels better soon my dear. I am not going to dare to scroll up back again because it hurts me just to look at those pictures. :)

  13. Omg!! You poor thing!! That is one badass cut!!!

    I did feel a little nautious BUT all that melted away when I saw the best photo ever of mom and duke!!! Parents love it when they're immortalizedon the Internet!!

    Hope it doesn't feel too horrible!

  14. Oh.My.Friggin.God.

    That is a crazy ass wound!

    Hope you heal fast (and the skin 'dies off')...shuddering.

    Vomiting was kept to just inside the mouth.

  15. Gross! Glad you are ok though!

  16. OMG...glad your ok, hope you heal soon.

  17. Oh my god, is all I keep saying over and over. Jeebus! You are a trooper to be able to joke about it, but please, please take it easy and take care of yourself.

  18. Girl! That is awful! Why the hell is it shaped like that and where is that big piece of skin? Did your friends find it on their step the next day? That's awesome you have such a great sense of humor about it but dang that looks painful! Hope it heals quickly or the skin dies off or whatever it's supposed to do!

  19. You were beyond bombed. How could you not notice a chunk missing from your leg? The bruises! The hole!


  20. I was reading this when my elderly co-worker walked up. Of course she walked up right when I saw the photo and said "son of a whore!!!"
    I hope that you feel better. Wow...I, too, would like to know what you fell on that did that. Is that your shin or knee?

  21. Ewwwww!!!!!! If you have to fall and do THAT to yourself, then maybe being drunk and not feeling it is the way to go. Feel better!

  22. OMG, is that as horribly painful as it looks? You poor thing! I hope you feel better, soon!

  23. WOAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    Seiously, Woah. I think when something like that happens yoiu laugh because it prevents yoiu from going into shock. I'm not a doctor but I shattered my ankle by slipping on ice on a subway platform and my foot was litterally sideways to my leg. It just was hanging held by the skin. I laughed the whole time a waited for the ambulance. I cracked jokes with the other people waiting for the train. I asked the ambulance drivers if we could stop off for some stiff drinks. I was quite the comedian. Joked with the intake person at the ER.

    As soon as I was laying on a hospital gurney and hooked up to an IV I started to feel the pain and then I cried. I guess once I knew I was being taken care of I could let it go.

    You take care of yourself and don't push yourself to hard.

    All the best- THL

  24. Ouchie ouchie ouchie. At least the drunkenness numbed it a bit....for awhile. I hope it heals alright. OUCH.

    And as for the wipe the weiner post....I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!

  25. OH MY GOD, this totally blows ! I'm so sorry this happened..but on the bright side, your blog title is totally appropriate now :) (sorry, I'm trying to make you smile).
    Oh, and I just noticed, the Duke is H-O-T ! Congrats on the nice man-meat :D !! Hehehe !

  26. Oh my goodness! I am so sorry. But hey, you have a killer "wound" to show off and a very entertaining story to tell everyone. (That always made me feel better...)

  27. Okay, first off, I am so sorry this happened to you! I hope you get better soon :)

    Second of all, I laughed my ars off while reading this story. Not that it's funny, but I just pictured you just cracking up the whole time!

  28. Holy shit...that looks horrible.

    As for it being funny when people fall...I think it's hysterical long as no one gets hurt. This would have been funny until I saw the blood.

  29. Hahahahaha holy shit that's hardcore. Funny that you can never feel that shit when you're drunk. I once woke up on the floor of my friends living room covered in dirt/bruises/scars and I had absolutely no recollection of the previous night. I thought I had been raped by a bear.

    So at least you know what happened, really.

  30. OMG HONEY! I'm a day late but holy crap are you ok?! That looks brutal.

    Trippin through life...omg doll. :)

    Let me know how you're doing!

  31. HOLY CRAP! That just sucks! I hope it's not too painful now :(

  32. WHOA!

    that totally took my breath away! I hope you are okay - your knee just looks wicked! WICKED!


    Get Better. and stop with the Drunk First Aid, that duct tape had me laughing my ass off until I saw how bad your knee was... ooooosh.

  33. holy crap! despite your warning, i looked anyway and really shouldn't have. OUCH!! I guess your blog title holds true then? Get well soon!!

  34. OMG!!!! That was awful! I know you warned us, but it's like a car crash. You're going to look. You just can't help it! I hope it doesn't hurt too bad and that it heals fast! Ow!!!

  35. Aw, hon, I am so, SO sorry! And only a little grossed out... you poor thing! Thank goodness you were wasted!

  36. I know I've already commented once, but I had to come back to let you know that I left you an award on my blog!

  37. Hey lady, hope your leg is doing alright! I left you an award too!

  38. AAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!! Of course, when someone says "don't look!" I look :P OMG, I almost passed out at those pics... How on earth did you do that much damage by tripping??? Wow... Hope you're doing okay!!

  39. It's sooo not funny.. but it SOO is. I just laughed until I cried when I read that part about you "rockin the mini-skirt" this summer. Looks like you took onehellofa fall! Good thing the al-ki-hall turned it into a giggle-fest. Happy Healing! :)

  40. I guess leg modeling is out for this summer....

    Seriously, that cut looks painful. Maybe it was a good thing you were smashed to dull the initial pain.

  41. what the freak er did you go to? they could have closed that! then whatever "dies" dies and hyou are left with a MUCH better scar. they totally failed you on that! (sorry, just have to say) (am a trauma dr.)(popped over from megans blog to read your post about the roomba)

  42. How did I miss this post? Seriously though... GROSSS!

    Instead of get well wishes I send you wishes for your skin to die quickly.

    Sorry love, that's awful!

  43. Oh my goodness! It's probably a good thing you were drunk, or that would've hurt a heck of a lot more than it did! I'm pretty sure I would have passed out.

  44. Holy shiteys woman! I'm am so behind, but what. the. eff! There really are no words. I am just glad that you are okay. Will they have to do a skin graft or something? I'm not sure I'm buying the "let the skin die" thing...won't the scar be worse (like "anonymous" said)? Eeeeek!

  45. omg gnarly!!!!

    I hope you're okay!!!

  46. Wow that definitely looks painful! I guess you really are "trippin through life" these days! Totally sounds like something I would do so I will head your advice to not try and be funny, just walk!

  47. I just wanted to say that I can relate... ON my 21st birthday, I did the whole drinking and walking combo. At the end of the night after become trashed, I was trying to walk backwards and dance at the same time, I fell, and broke my wrist. MY 3am ER trip was quite the adventure!!