Thursday, June 25, 2009


I'm on way to Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although your probably wondering why the hell I would head to Florida in the summer.

Crazy , I know. However, My BFF moved there last year (Orlando) and I miss her like crazy! I'm on summer break and its next to impossible to go during the school year and its cheaper.

So...Florida here I come!

I'm flying alone, which actually I like doing. I get to read a ton of meaningless magazines and read books that I have been coveting without having to make conversation with anyone else. Its nice to have that once in awhile.

Down side....

I'm me.

I get goofed up easily, I'm always late, I don't think things through, very forgetful, and I am tooooo laid back, etc.... all these things are not good when you are flying the friendly skies. Sometimes they are just not that friendly!

I do have some examples...Wanna hear them?

I'll make them short and sweet and to the point.

Example 1:

First time flying alone.

Destination: Washington DC for a friends wedding. I was a "reader" in the wedding so I needed to be there for the dress rehearsal.

My outfit still was not complete for the wedding, I still needed shoes. I thought I would stop at the mall before getting on the plane. Great idea....

Stopped at around and I ran into one of my friends.

friend: Hey I thought you were going to DC?

me: Oh I am. I just needed to get some shoes.

friend: What time is your flight?

me: 2pm

friend: WHAT? Your going to miss your flight!

me: No I won't, I have an hour.

friend: You have to check in your stuff still and go through will never make it.

me: panicking!

I leave to go to the airport ( not before buying the shoes, of course!)

get into the directions! I am so directionally challenged!

I call the airport...get directions. Proceeded to call back like 6 more times to see if the plane left.

For some reason in my head I was thinking I would just pull up to the airport, park, walk in and get on the plane.

Your probably wondering if I ever had been on a plane before...yep...several times.

My excuse...none. Sometimes..I just don't think.

Needless to say I missed my plane, which meant of course that I missed the rehearsal dinner and scared everybody as to my whereabouts.

Oh...I had also left my plane tickets at home...yeah I am that awesome!

Example #2

Destination: San Francisco to visit a friend

Brought an expired license instead of my current one. Why you may ask.... I couldn't find my current one and thought an expired one would work fine. Its not like I would be driving a car or anything. I had left packing until the last minute and didn't have time to look for my license...I needed to be there early ( I didn't want to miss my plane like last time. See...I do learn small lessons)

Fast trying to check in.

The guy wouldn't let me check in because my license was expired.

Big situation broke out...I went to another airline employee. That person thought I should be let on the plane. In his words "She isn't going to be flying the plane"
Argument broke out between the two about it...third person was called in...I was let on the plane. Had to run all they way there while the plane waited for me.

Want to know the funny thing....this was on my trip home. They obviously let me fly there on my expired license. Hmmph...

Example 3:

Destination: Key West - maid of honor in a wedding

Alarm did not go off in the morning ( thank goodness I am an early riser anyways)
freaked out...threw everything that wasn't packed yet into my carry on.

I'm sure you can guess what happened.

I totally forgot that everything in my carry on that is liquid like could not be bigger than 3.4 oz. Tears are starting to well up at thought of this.

I got to the security check and that is when I encountered the bitch from hell. This cold- hearted woman informs me that I broke all sorts of codes and proceeded to throw away all of my hair products, etc... right in front of me. I thought I was going to be sick! These products were not cheap...I spent money on them!
hair powder...gone
body lotion...gone
body scrub....gone

and let me tell ya she reveled in throwing this stuff away. She picked each one up, admired it, commented on what the cost of it was, then dropped it in the trash. She did this with every single thing. With everyone that was in line for security watching. It was painful....

and the most embarrassing moment... was when she picked up one of the items that I bought for my friends bachelorette party. This...

Dick Tasty

So here's to hoping that this little trip is uneventful!!!




  1. A word of advice.... wear matching socks. In D.C they made me take off my shoes to check for bombs and I was wearing ONE tacky Halloween sock and one TACKY-ER Valentine's Day sock. My flying experiences are much like yours and I was in a mad rush that morning. Totally embarrassing.

  2. laughing my ass off :)
    i have been following your blog for sometime now ... you crack me up..

  3. OMG!!! Try to remember to pack the night before.

  4. HAHAHAHA! Oh dear. :):) I didn't laugh honest. Well maybe a little. Or a lot. HEE!!!!

  5. Oh my gawd, you crack me up! Dick Tasty... just the name makes me giggle. I'm so mature. Better luck this time! :-)

  6. Have fun! I love flying alone too! And I ALWAYS JUST make the flight!! :)

  7. What?! A wasted bottle of Dick Tasty? How can that woman even sleep at night?

  8. Haha!! I'm reading through this thinking how opposite we are as travelers, then I got to the end and almost peed my pants - that's awesome!! :)

  9. Hahahaha, that's very entertaining. Life sounds a lot more fun that way. I've always been about an hour early for my flights, just sitting and waiting, and let me tell you- it sucks.

  10. Oh you crack me up! I always tell people that I am like Helen Keller when I get to an airport, for reals.

    Have a fabulous time with your BFF!

  11. Have a fun trip. Hilarious post. Just remember you can't really "drive up" to the airport. Hahaha. Float on...

  12. Dick Tasty! I love it!!!! That makes me literally ell oh ell!

  13. Dick Tasty? Ahahahaha!

  14. Ah, I love you and your Dick Tasty. Have a great trip, I'll miss your funny posts while you're gone. :)

  15. Have a great trip. Wish I was going - despite the crazy heat there -I'd love a FL getaway. Don't miss your flight!!

  16. Oh gosh, I think I would die if they found Dick Tasety in my bag LOL

    You have so many commenters now, i remember when I was so close to the top! Usually number 3 or so! Congrats on your blogging success!

  17. LOL!! Wishing you luck for this trip!

  18. Don't try too hard to be prepared. I expect some great stories to add to your collection when you return.

  19. I'm not even laughing. I just feel horrible... mostly because I have BEEN THERE. $60 perfume... down the drain. And the airport lady was LAUGHING at me the whole time.

  20. DUDE. So annoying. One time she took my Chanel gloss and didn't throw it away. Wonder where it ended up? Hmmmmmmmmm.

  21. I'm totally the same way. I'm directionally challenged and believe everywhere I face is North.

    I also think that everywhere is only 10 minutes away when I should know this not the case living in the parking lot state because of all the traffic.

    Enjoy Florida.

  22. I cannot WAIT to hear what happens on THIS trip!

    I've decided to just go to the airport stark naked from now on. They make you take everything off at the gate anyway. Try that, and tell me how it goes, okay?

  23. Have a great time in Florida lady.

  24. Have an awesome time, I was in FL for spring break and had a blast!

  25. I gave you an award for when you return! happy travels!

  26. Oh my gosh, you're too funny. I've had my share of plane moments. Mainly because I have issues flying, I do not fly all. The very first time I flew I missed my first flight, the second flight got me from Montana to Salt Lake where my connecting flight was so delayed that the airline was going to put all of us who were missing the flight. I freaked. It takes me a while to get the courage to get on a plane and the thought of having to fly again the next day was too much. I yelled at the poor man: "There is a plane leaving from somewhere in the States going to Florida tonight! FIND IT!" I did get a flight and made it. That was the first time I ever 'took charge' or freaked out, whichever you choose.