Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday: Flying

I'mmmm baaaccckkkk!!!!!!!!

I will tell ya more on my Florida vacay a little later because its Totally Awkward Tuesday time and I do have a little story from my recent trip for you all.

Picture this:

It was the plane ride back home, I had the window on my left and a girl on my right ( she was about my age, early twenties...okay, okay....thirties...sheesh) .

Plane ride started out OK, about 30 minutes into the flight I had to take one of my antibiotics. I reached down into my bag to get them and as I was bringing the bottle up ...butter finger strikes and I drop the bottle and it rolled back under my seat...ugh!

The next 5 minutes I spent trying to reach under my seat trying to grab the bottle. 5 minutes may not seem long but it was an eternity

Especially when you have to bend over and either grab through your wide spread legs or turn your knees to one side and bend over and try to reach under. (So then your butt could possibly be staring them in the face)
Then you grunt a little as your trying to make your arms be go-go-gadget like due to having impossibly short arms.

Its just not graceful or becoming at all and definitely awkward.

i apologized to my neighbor for being disruptive and she offered to help me, but in the end I got it and went back to reading my book.

I was super exhausted and was starting to doze as I read and as I started to sleep.... purring followed ( Duke likes to call it snoring, but purring is a lot cuter. Even though Duke says what I do is no where near sounding cute...whatevs! post for another day)

I was trying so hard to fight the good fight with my eyes to keep open, but every now and then I would jolt myself awake with a snort...yes a snort!! ugh...embarrassing

I got a pop in an attempt to help wake me up. I put the tray down to set my pop on and it also was great to lean my book on why i read.

So as I was reading when the sleep fairies came again .....and no matter how much I fought them, they won out and the purring/snoring began again...

and then a big ol'snort!! awkward...

the kind that wakes you right up!! I jolted up right so hard that my book hit the tray which then knocked over my pop right into the girls lap next to me!! She jumped...I dropped my book when I went to grab the pop ( no luck)...pop everywhere...oopsie!

Ugh...I kept apologizing...waved to the flight attendant to come help us...she did and brought lots of napkins. The girl said it was OK...but I am positive she was annoyed by this time.

After we got cleaned up I knew that I had to use the bathroom but there is no way I wanted to ask the 2 people sitting in my row to get up now...I have already been such a pain in the butt. It wasn't too bad and I thought I would be fine until the plane landed.

After a few minutes of just sitting there perfectly still and trying not to be annoying, I still wanted to read my book that was now laying on the floor. Even though I didn't want to awkwardly bend over to get something under my seat, the need to know what was happening with the Edward/Bella/Jacob triangle was too hard to resist.

So I bent over to get the book when I ripped a fart. Yep...I ripped one. a minor stinky one.

I could have D.I.E.D from embarrassment right there on the spot! The worst thing...its not like you can blame someone else or move ( run) away from the person . You just have to sit there and endure...

Klassy...right?!

If It wasn't awkward enough before it certainly was now!

I'm sure that girl had a story all about me when she got off that plane.

Happy Totally Awkward Tuesday! Go check out the rest of the awkward stories at Tova's place!!

The Lady Jane

34 comments:

  1. HAhah! I was cracking up. How awkward!

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  2. That is awesome. Airplane farts are epic!!!

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  3. My dear lady,

    You are the picture of class, elegance and grace.

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  4. Oh my gravy. I loved that story. I'm so glad you're back, I've missed your posts that make me chuckle. :)

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  5. PS: I would love it if you would guest post for me while I'm gone next week...if you have time, of course.

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  6. Holy crap you have the awkwardest stories

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  7. I can't stop laughing, you're too funny. Sorry that awkwardness had to happen to you.

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  8. Ahhh...hilarious now, but probably not in the moment, right?! I am flying on Friday and hopefully, I will be able to avoid any awkwardness ;)

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  9. Wow...you just listed a series of events that together seem mortifying.

    Thanks for sharing with us...I have had my share of these moments...maybe I will now be brave enough to talk about them on my blog!

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  10. Wow! That was a hell of a flight! I'm glad I wasn't sitting next to you! Geez!

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  11. Oh no. I am LOL. This is too good. That poor girl probably told all her friends about the snorting farting girl that sat next to her and spilled all over her! :)

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  12. Oh my goodness, this is HILARIOUS. I'd love to read the girl's blog post who sat next to you! :)

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  13. This post has caused side - ripping laughter for me! Hey listen, I'm flying to Texas in July. . . you won't be in my row will you? (just kidding . . . .well kind of . . . )

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  14. I just completely slapped my forehead and "Oh, my gawd"-ed you! It is the neverending awkwardness! You almost just needed to ask the flight attendant to re-seat you somewhere else--for your sake as well as hers! (Although, paryers for the poor schmuck you got seated to next). :)

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  15. She is probablly blogging about it...right now! lol

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  16. I wish I could lie and say I was the girl next to you- but I'm laughing too hard to be mean. The great part is each person can just imagine it happening to them. Thanks for sharing!

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  17. This is the most awkward story I have ever read! I know you were glad to get off that plane.

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  18. Oh dear lord, I hate airplane awkwardness! Like you said, you're trapped there after it happens. Just not good. If it makes you feel better, I fell asleep in an airport and woke myself up with a loud toot (my "nice" word for fart). I then had to get on a plane with everyone who had heard. And I really hope that did make you feel a little better cause I can't believe I just fessed up to that! :-)

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  19. I laughed my ass off and I do apologize. :) But really. Hahaha! That's hilarious. And embarrassing for you sure, but awesome blog material. And that girl is probably writing a blog right now about some pill dropping, snorting, fartypants she had to sit next to on a plane. :) HEE!

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  20. Oh my gosh, I'm laughing through tears. That was just hysterical, maybe the girl next to you didn't think it so funny, but oh boy, that was good!

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  21. Hahaha! Oh MY!! Hmmm...since I read your blog this is totally endearing, but since that was a stranger next to you, I'm bettin' she was very annoyed! lol

    I L-O-V-E that your reading the Twilight Saga! If you become embarrassingly consumed like I did, let me know ;)

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  22. How funny would it be if you came across that girl's blog, telling all about her worst airplane ride ever? That's hilarious.

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  23. Oh man oh man...I'm loving your honesty!

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  24. It's been said, but I am sure that girl did tell all her friends about that! Hilarious. I love it! Thanks for sharing.

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  25. Even if it's embarrassing an accidental public fart is such a great story later.

    I actually hope for it to happen sometimes. On accident.

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  26. That is never funny the moment it happens but it just gets funnier as time passes. no pun intended. Thanks for your comment on my site.

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  27. You are OUT OF CONTROL in the best way ever. And you have the best stories...I seriously get so excited when I see you've blogged!

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  28. That girl is blogging about YOU right now!

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  29. OMG that was a riot. Farting in an airplane sit is like farting in a very quiet yoga class. Just no passing the buck on that one.

    I have to agree with hotpants, if she's a blogger, she's blogging about you right now.

    Thanks for the laugh.

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  30. Hahaha, how embarassing! I hate sitting next to people like you on the airplane ;)

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  31. OMG. That is so funny. Thanks for the laugh. Glad I found your blog.

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  32. Thank you. I about lost it at the end. Sorry for you though but again...thank you!

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  33. this is SO funny -- haha... I think it can't get any worse, and then it does. I would have cracked up if I was sitting next to you! That is awesome. I love it!

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