Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday (vol.2)

Sorry I'm so late posting for Totally Awkward Tuesday!!
( which the idea is credited to the Lovely Tova Darling..)

OK...so here is my totally awkward story...

I had been dating The Duke for like 2 months at this time. We were moving kind of fast in our relationship. Yeah, yeah..I know what your saying "fast" hmmhmm "I know what that means" and your totally right ...I was sooo easy and our first date actually lasted for three days and we moved in together after 5 months. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that we were moving at a good rate and we were getting to know eachother's quirks; even our bathroom habits but there is one thing a guy is never really ready for......

I was at work and I had heard my phone ring but I was busy and didn't answer it and I didn't check the message until I was on my way home from work. The message was from The Duke and he sounded really upset ( not like mad..but freaked out) I can't remember exactly what he said but it was something like " I realllly need to talk to you. You need to come to my place right after work." Huh?? So I tried calling him back and got his voicemail. So not thinking too much about it I made my way to his house and when I got there; there was a yellow "no crossing" tape across the front door ( ya know the kind that police use at a crime scene) and a note hanging from it.

I knew that The Duke owned tape like that from a past Halloween Party. So I walked up to the door and read the note. This is what it said:

" Lady Jane - call me as soon as you read this. I am at the coffee shop"

So I called again and this time The Duke answered.

The Duke: "R u home?"

Me: " Um..yeah. Why is there police tape across the door and why are you at the coffee shop?"

The Duke: "I am NOT going in the house. I don't know if I can ever go in the house again. I think I am traumatized"

Me: "What the hell happened? Is everything okay?"

The Duke:" I can't even talk about it. Go in the house and call me back"

So I don't know what to think at this moment..so I just go on in.

and that's when I saw what traumatized him and I totally understood.

Through out the living room...all over the place.

Was a week's worth of used, disgusting, bloody tampons!!!!

The dogs got in the trash and pulled them all out, some of them chewed up. And to top it all off there was a pile of puke where one of the dogs had obviously not digested said tampons. But the worst part was the smell...bloody tampons with a mix of vomit. Nice... with a touch of romance.

You can imagine..the phone call back to The Duke was at the very least AWKWARD!!!!

Happy Tuesday!!

The Lady Jane


  1. I don't even know what to comment about this. Except for the fact that I don't think I can ever post a Totally Awkward Tuesday post because NOTHING will love up to this. WOW!

  2. I had a similarly awkward experience last month at work, when instead of throwing a dirty tampon into the overflowing trash, I flushed it and wound up clogging and then flooding my work bathroom. Since it's only me and my boss at the office, I was the obvious culprit!

  3. oh wow. that is hilarious! i had tall guy read it and he was cringing the whole time!


    I have two words for you...Keeper Cup.

  5. HAHAAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA I am dying of laughter. Poor guy :\.

  6. Gina - of couse you can!! Dig down deep//its there , you know it.

    SIB - Ooohhh..at work...that is embarrasing!!!

    hazel - I hope I didn't traumatize him too!!

    Sassy - Keeper Cup??? What is this thing you are talking about...I'm intrigued.

    Cool as folk - I'm taking a bow....

  7. Oh my gawd! Poor you (or poor Duke), but pretty funny.

  8. Oh gross!!!!!!!! That is so terrible!!! It's a wonder the relationship continued after that.

  9. OMIGOD!! That is a wretched, yet hilarious story!

    Sooo glad you guys overcame that!

  10. Oh, wow. His reaction to the whole situation just made that story that much better. Hilarious. And awkward. How did you finally manage to convince him it was ok to come home?

  11. Well, at least you know if he stuck around after that, it has to be love :-) Way awkward but funny story!

  12. That is absolutely brilliant! What a fantastic story. Duke is obviously a keeper if he's still with you after that ;-)

  13. Oh god. How awful. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was 12. It was shortly after my first or second period, and our dog pulled a bloody maxi-pad out of the garbage. I was clueless until my sister told me to be more careful...

    Wow. Duke must be a heck of a guy to survive something like that...

  14. OMG! That happened to me once w/ my dog pulling out a used panty liner. Luckily I flush the used tampons otherwise I can only imagine what it would look like! We've since gotten a covered trash can. :) Yikes!

  15. Ahhhh!!!! Hilarious, but not so much for him ;) Guys freak out so much when it comes to "that time of the month" stuff.

  16. Dogs love that stuff for some reason. I do not understand it. It only has to happen once to learn the lesson though:


  17. Police tape? You two are obviously made for each other.

  18. Who designed your blog? If you've said, I can't remember.

  19. oh my! That is too much! My dog gets into our trash in the bathroom all the time, I should probably start putting it under the sink to avoid the police tape haha. Thanks for sharing!

  20. OMG. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth...

    This is the most embarrassing situation that I can ever imagine being in...you poor girl.

  21. woah your awkward story blew tova out of the water!! i'm tempted to participate in TAT, but my blog isn't annonymous! that makes everything way more awkward!