Wednesday, March 25, 2009

TMI- just an innocent day at the tanner....

Welcome to TMI Thursdays!!!

Created by the very own LiLu at Go check out her site - everbody who has a site will be listed there!! (But not right now, you have to finish what you started here!)

Here goes nothing….that is except my pride – that is out the window (and across the pond and through the woods...)

Now I need to preface this story by saying I was 16. SIXTEEN…

I’m from a small town – the kind where everybody knows everybody and there was only one salon/tanner in the town. It had 4 hairstylist and two tanning beds. One of the girls I went to high school with (older then me) was the secretary. The owner was the mom of a girl that I was on the dance squad with and one of the hairstylists was my old babysitter. You getting the idea, right?

It was prom time – so of course, I need a mean fake tan. Since there are only two tanning beds in the town – you had to make an appointment- no walk-ins.

It was time for my tanning appointment and I got there on time said my “Hello’s” and made my way back to the tanner. I think I had a date later that forever running behind I decided not to use the bathroom before stripping down because, ya know, I had no time to waste!! So I get all prepped for the tanner and get in. I was laying there and jamming to the music when I felt a twinge…in my bladder.

Even though this was forever ago, this is what I am assume was going on in that pea-brain of mine.

Me thinking to myself:

Hhmmm...I can hold this...I just got in here...I have time.
A little bit later...
Seems like I have been lying here for awhile, (looked at my watch) only 5 minutes!! Damn! Ok...Ok...need to get my mind off of it. Ahhh…thinking about my date…what am I going to wear?
Mins past (so it seemed)
OK …I'll look at watch my watch - seriously time alsmost has to be up! (Look at watch). Ugh...what?! What did it do just stand still? Stupid tanner. Shit shit shit!!

At this point I couldn’t sit still, my legs were jiggling and I was starting to get really anxious and I was sweating (well that could of been from all the heat from the fake rays). OK...not many options…I could either get dressed and forfeit my time and use the ladies room or….what I ended up actually doing. Well, in my 16 year old head I thought there was no way I’m going to forfeit my time – as you remember there are only two beds in our town –they are a hot commodity – there was a waiting list for Gods Sake! So I did what I thought I had to do –

I peed in the trashcan!

Yep – I got out of the bed and squatted over the can and let loose. I can’t lie it felt great!!!!

It was after I did my business that I was like – Oh shit – what do I do now? So I took out the trash bag tied it up and then hid it between the wall and the tanner. Of course, right? Got back into the bed and relaxed and kept telling myself – that nobody will find it for awhile and they won’t link it back to me. I always wondered what they said when they came across the warm urine filled bag – that would have been a trip.
Hey the important thing is I looked great for my date that night, prom the next week, and I didn’t forfeit any of my time.

Aahhh..feels good to get that off my chest. Have a great day!!

The Lady Jane


  1. Oh my lord, this is AWESOME. And so something I would have done! Except I probably would have tried to sneak the bag out and ended up spilling it all over the lobby.

    Happy TMI Thursday!

  2. Wow! That is some hard core stuff right there.

  3. Oh my lord. That is disgusting and hilarious, all at the same time!!

  4. Hey Jane. I also once used a trash can as a toilet. But. Um. Not to pee. I don't think I am brave enough to post that story yet. Maybe one day. Or maybe I should do it now just in case I do end up getting more followers one day. Ha. Thanks for the giggle.

  5. That is fabulous, and something I so would have done. Living in a small town you are indeed lucky you did not get found out. You would have been the talk of the town for weeks!

  6. LOL oh my!! That is something I probably would have thought about doing, but would be waay too chicken to actually do it!!

    What lengths we women go to for beauty eh?

  7. You classy girl!! I can see why they call you "Lady" Jane xx

  8. oh, no. I was tempted to do this. Quite recently.
    Also, I worked for a huge tanning salon in my early 20's. It is nice to know that it is normal women peeing all over the place, and not the sweaty, creepy men. Seriously. You have no idea how often something like that happens:)

  9. Love your comments!! I have never told anyone this story! And that is suprising because I spill embarrasing stuff all the time about myself.

    LiLu- I would have carried it out too - but scared of spilling and the smell...ewww

    justjp- I'm all about being hard-core..ha

    Jess- I love to disgust (taking a bow)

    Gina- You totally should tell it. Double dog dare you!!

    Brunhilda - I still wonder if I was on the suspect list!

    Kathleen- No kidding!!!

    Jen - I'm all class!!

    Shannon- I am normal!! I swear!! Although..this story makes me sound like a disgusting pig!

  10. Ahahahaha, that is hilarious. I seriously just laughed out loud.

  11. The funniest thing I have ever read. In my life.

    You've also solved a mystery for me:
    A couple of years ago, the place I used to go tanning at had a sign hanging up that said, "The trash cans are for TRASH only. If you abuse this, we will take out ALL of the trash cans."

    I had no idea what they were talking about -- what would people be using the trash cans for if not for garbage?

    Mystery solved. Thank you ;-)

  12. So funny that you admitted to this. I worked at a tanning salon for 5 years. Sooo many people did this. We had one lady who would do it all the time.

  13. hot pants - that does make feel so much better. Mucho gracias!