Obviously you know that this blog is anonymous!
- NO pics
- I use a fake name ( Lady Jane is what my mom used to call me when I was in trouble growing up. Instead of using your first, middle , and last name as most parents do Nope...she just made up a whole new name altogether)
I have not told a single person in my real life about this blog and that is including the DUKE. Which is crazy because we tell each other everything..
the good ( "your so cute", "I got a raise", "your armpits look cool shaved")
the bad ("uhh..I lost the extra keys to the house", "yes, that was me who dented your car")
the ugly ( "you really need to go take a shower", "I have really bad diarrhea.")
You get my drift! So why may you ask I didn't tell him about the blog? I don't have a great answer for not telling him, but my reason for not telling anyone else is because I just wanted to carve out a little place in the world for little ol' me. I was selfish and really didn't want to let anyone else in, and really they know most the stories anyways. I loved the secrecy of it and if I was to be totally honest I harbored this fantasy that I would become a really big deal on the internet and get featured in a magazine or something or have like Ellen as a follower and I would be all" Oh, yeah, my blog. Yeah it is really big. I didn't tell you about it? Huh...sorry."
All those reason's are not the reason's I didn't tell the Duke.
Actually the Duke would have been fine with it and would even get some humor out of it. To tell the truth I'm not a 100% sure why I didn't tell him. I think I was meaning too...but I just didn't. I think I liked the cloak and dagger of it all!! Well...I suck at covering my tracks and have come to the sad realization that I would never be a good FBI agent, CIA, or anything else.
Because the DUKE found out and it wasn't because I told him. Damn him and his sleuthing ways...
I was out driving, doing something or another, when I get this phone call from him and the first thing he says..." Hey, its the Duke here!" Took me a minute to catch on and then it dawned on me...he found the blog!!!
Duke: " So NOW i know why you have been spending so much time on the internet!"
Me: " Wait...what are you talking about?" ( Really I knew, but I was hoping just for a minute that he didn't actually find it and I totally misunderstood him and it was going to be like an episode of Full House or something....)
Duke: " I'm sitting here looking at stories of our life ON THE INTERNET!!" BTW..he is laughing. " I can't believe this"
and this is when he starts reading me excerpts from my posts... Ugh...and I felt really anxious because I had no control over what he was reading and I couldn't remember all that I had wrote..praying I wasn't forgetting a post where I totally slammed him ( of course I wouldn't do this...but it was a fleeting thought)
Duke " I can't believe you wrote about shoveling your own shit!!!" " Wait...is this?...(pause) you wrote about the tampon story??"
OK...at this time the only thing Duke became concerned with was how many posts he was in. He started flipping through the blog and counting the times mentioned and was actually very disappointed that he was only mentioned in a couple of posts....But he LOVES that his name is the Duke...he said " This makes me sound like I'm BIG from Sex and the city!" At this time I swear I heard his head getting bigger and bigger over the phone!
By the time I got home... The Duke had started his own blog and wanted to compete with mine...
Me: "Hunny, why is your blog called "The Drake Show"?
The Duke: "Uh...because that's the name you gave me on your blog!" while giving me the look like "Duh..."
Me: "Not Drake, hunny, Duke! Duke is what I call you."
The Duke: "aww..man!! Now it doesn't make any sense"
And that my friends was the extent of the Duke's blogging career.
THE LADY JANE