Happy "Totally Awkward Tuesday" everybody!!! Brought to you by the Great Tova Darling
(if you haven't checked her out - do it!")
I was over at Tova's place and I read her "totally awkward post" and it reminded me of an interaction that I had last year.
My brother was getting married and of course I was in the wedding. Since I am a definite shorty, it goes without saying that I needed to get the dress hemmed. I went to this new seamstress to have her do her magic. I believe she was Korean, but she had very broken English and very sweet.
So anyways, she was down on the ground placing the pins to mark the hems , when she stood up and just started staring at the dress ( on me). I wasn't for sure what she was doing so I didn't do anything and just kind of smiled awkwardly. Finally, what seemed after a lengthy silence. She said " You have no Butt!" No, I couldn't have heard her right, its her broken English so I said "I'm sorry I didn't understand what you were saying." She started pointing at my derriere and said again "no butt. no butt. Looks no good in dress". Well with all the pointing to my rear , I perfectly understood what she was saying. So I started joking and was like "yeah, it sucks, I carry it all in my chest." ha ha ** awkward**. She was serious though and she told me that you could buy "fake butts" and that I needed to do that. I had to promise her that I would buy a "fake butt" and guess what?! I did!! And here it is:
(if you haven't checked her out - do it!")
I was over at Tova's place and I read her "totally awkward post" and it reminded me of an interaction that I had last year.
My brother was getting married and of course I was in the wedding. Since I am a definite shorty, it goes without saying that I needed to get the dress hemmed. I went to this new seamstress to have her do her magic. I believe she was Korean, but she had very broken English and very sweet.
So anyways, she was down on the ground placing the pins to mark the hems , when she stood up and just started staring at the dress ( on me). I wasn't for sure what she was doing so I didn't do anything and just kind of smiled awkwardly. Finally, what seemed after a lengthy silence. She said " You have no Butt!" No, I couldn't have heard her right, its her broken English so I said "I'm sorry I didn't understand what you were saying." She started pointing at my derriere and said again "no butt. no butt. Looks no good in dress". Well with all the pointing to my rear , I perfectly understood what she was saying. So I started joking and was like "yeah, it sucks, I carry it all in my chest." ha ha ** awkward**. She was serious though and she told me that you could buy "fake butts" and that I needed to do that. I had to promise her that I would buy a "fake butt" and guess what?! I did!! And here it is:
"Padded Buttness" Where your booty is their Duty
( no lie...that's their advertisement)
The Lady Jane
Hehehe.... that's hilarious. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
No butt is better than too much butt. Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteclassic! I once had an asian lady blurt out during a MANI- you have FAT fingers! Fat finger good luck! Really, how about a fat ass? Love the padded butt!
ReplyDeleteI totally want a fake butt! That would be fun! Do they have a J LO?
ReplyDeleteKelly-- You can get them in different sizes!!!
ReplyDeleteUm, I so need this!
ReplyDeleteDid you just want to crawl in a corner and hide?
ReplyDeleteHugs and Mocha,
Stesha
I need no help in this area.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny that she just assumed you'd want her opinion on your body shape. A friend of mine had her tailor tell her that her hips looked too big in her wedding dress. She's TINY and there's not much you can do about wide hips so she was pretty upset. Anyhoo, I wish I could get rid of my booty as easily as you were able to purchase one! :-)
ReplyDeleteI had a broken English experience once with the lady who ran the laundromat near my apartment. One Saturday she came up to me with an envelope that looked as if it had been returned to her, asking me, "Why come back?" I took a look at it and realized that she had affixed the sticker that is the COVER of the stamp booklet to her envelope, thinking that it was just a really big stamp.
ReplyDeleteI tried to explain, but I think I just ended up making her feel goofy.
(The original post about it is here. )
And by "here," I mean: http://botticellophelia.blogspot.com/2007/08/if-nap-could-feed-me-id-sleep-all-time.html
ReplyDeleteI have plenty 'o butt...I wonder if they just make LIFTS for what I've got?!
ReplyDeleteHaha! This is hilarious! I had no idea such a thing was made...then again, as per a previous post I wrote about my butt, I suppose I've never had a need for it.
ReplyDeleteDo you still pull it out from time to time??
i have way bigger boobs than butt too - i would like to switch please.
ReplyDeletebaby got no back.
Um, yeah. So my friend Erin referred me to a little nail salon owned by a Korean lady. She told me they did great eyebrow waxes for $8. I was sold. I went in, and while the girl was doing my eyebrows, she said, "You want me to do your lip? You have a hairy lip!! Lots of hair!!"
ReplyDeleteC'mon, I mean, it was blonde peach fuzz!! I let her do it and afterward, called Erin to tell her my embarrassing story. Erin laughed...apparently that girl told her the same thing!!!
Ha ha ha this was very funny :-) I'm sure you are perfectly gorgeous anyway :-) Thanks for stopping by on my blog and leaving such a nice comment...By the way, I need pants which is makes my butt smaller :-)...Have a great day, love: Evi
ReplyDeleteIf only I had THAT problem! And THAT problem!
ReplyDeleteLucky you!
That is so hilarious! And the padded butt is very convenient. I have small boobs so I have this magic trick (besides padded push up bras)that I always use. It's that sticky silicone bra. MAGICAL.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I've had my Korean manicurist slap my butt on countless occasions. Very awkward.
My friends refer to my backside as "The Juicy Double" or "J-Doub". Butt implants, that's funny.
ReplyDeleteLOL Awesome. I definitely don't have that problem, but I'm glad you have a nice, new set of buns. ;)
ReplyDeleteI heard Cameron Diaz used a "butt enhancer" for her underwear scene in Charlie's Angels. Not that I watched it or anything...
ReplyDeleteI'm following you now! Come follow me, too!
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I did have quite a few more posts up, but recently decided to start fresh with my blog-itude. (I tend to be a glass-half empty person.) :)
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I read through your past blogs, and I laughed out loud! You are very funny!
Why do seamstresses always have some sort of comment about your body when they are fixing your clothes? Like we need any more of those thoughts in our brains! :) But it looks like it worked in your favor!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'm ready for that jelly.
ReplyDeleteFunny post. I was on a photo shoot (I'm a makeup artist) and the hair artist (a gay man) looked over at me as I leaned over the model. "Girl, you can sit a table on that thing!" He was pointing at my behind. I smiled and said, "Thank you! In my community, butt is a GOOD thing." He laughed, and being a gay man, said, "Yeah, I'd like one of those for myself."
ReplyDeletelol @ BeckEye... and I want one of those things for myself as well. Cheers to the itty bitty booty havin' committee! ;)
ReplyDeleteAwesome, awesome and more awesome.
ReplyDelete(Please tell me you got one...)
Interesting. Stopping by from SITS.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I am in the same boat as you... I'm 5'2, a hundred pounds, and pretty much a stick besides my fake boobs (TMI?)... I have looked into getting butt pads, but haven't found any that looked good/realistic. What's the brand of the one you got??
ReplyDeleteI need to buy one of those! I have no butt at all!
ReplyDeleteLeaving some love from SITS!
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog yesterday! I have to tell you that when you have a big 'ol booty {like me} you have to crack up at the ways others try to achieve one themselves. LOL I can see where those "pantie draws" as I call them could be a valuable asset to those booty-less ladies!
ReplyDelete